I had a bit of an epiphany last night, a quick moment of realization.
After thinking and feeling that I haven't been in harmony with my environment, I just realized I can move if I want to. Somehow I've been stubborn and tried to adapt and tried many times to understand and empathize with people around me. But the truth is rather simple, I want to explore a very specific area in my life at the moment and I think Colombia isn't the right place to do it.
Unlike a tree that can't move around to get what it needs, I can easily just go to a place where there's more sun and water. Maybe it's better to do my photosynthesis elsewhere.
It's funny when you see it that way. I had a feeling since I arrived in Colombia four months ago that this wasn't going to be my favorite country. Well, at least not right now. But I did want to give it a chance as much as possible and even paid my $99,000 COP to stay another three months. I might still stay but with the intention to just learn some Salsa dancing and then dip out.
I haven't made a strong connection with a single person with a local as yet :(
While I was in Belize and Mexico I made so many good friends that I still talk to, but it's just not happening here as yet.
I have a theory and this may come across as condescending and selfish, but I think Colombians are going through a difficult time, and it was evident with the recent strike. That makes them not see very far ahead in the future. They are so kind and generous regardless of their economic situation but the will to survive and the frustration with their government is just too overwhelming. That makes them either want to get the fck out or just do barely enough to keep surviving.
I'm still deciding where to go next. My options are to go down to Ecuador and see I how I feel there or maybe just fly over to the USA, pick up my gear and then work while I'm there. I'm pretty sure things won't change much in South America given the news I've heard about Chile also hurting from oppression but let's see what happens!
I'm hoping things change quickly, so I can get back in FLOW and meet some beautiful people :)